Posts Tagged ‘evil’

Piers Morgan CNN

Well, to be fair, you don’t need Piers Morgan to prove that CNN sucks. There are millions of other examples. You can turn it on right now and see it, cowardly and blandly bloviating on and on about some made up, useless bullshit with commentary from some combination of insight free hacks, unqualified shitstains, and straight up liars. But Piers Morgan is such a perfect example of everything wrong with CNN that it can’t be ignored.

Perhaps I could have gone with CNN’s main anchor, Wolf Blitzer. He’s made a career out of saying nothing and generally refusing to challenge any assertion made by anyone. He’s grown a white beard in place of actually having gravitas and hasn’t had a pulse, making him legally dead since 1996.  He’s a good example of what’s happened to journalism as a whole, but in recent years CNN has attempted to be entertaining , so he doesn’t quite fit. (more…)

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Rick Santorum

I’m rooting for Rick Santorum to win the Republican Primary.

Before you start throwing large, pointy, or otherwise likely to be painful objects at head, let me explain. I am a liberal. So the obvious reason why I would support Santorum is that he would likely lead to an Obama landslide. It’s true that this would be one benefit of a Santorum victory it is not the reason I wan Santorum to win. Nor is it that I harbor a secret lifelong appreciation of the sweater vest that outranks my sanity and morality (personally, I’ve never understood why sweater vests exist or what their purpose is).

The truth is I have two very strong reasons I want to see an Obama-Santorum match-up.  (more…)

Peter Parker is a Dick

All the glory! All for me!

Yea, yea, I know, he’s Spiderman. Big deal. He’s still a massive dick.

Here’s the thing, he may go out and fight crime at night as a hobby, but what does he do for a living? That’s right, he’s a photographer.

One of the greatest young scientific minds in the world, so advanced that he was able to use a MacGuyver-esque budget to invent perhaps his most iconic superpowers, his webbing. Even without the radioactive spider bites, he would have been able to become a superhero based solely on his brain’s spectacular capacity for scientific discovery. (more…)

Michael Bay Transformers

Douchenozzle Defined

Michael Bay is America’s raging boner, so it’s fitting that the third Transformers movie was released during the Fourth of July weekend. He’s an unstoppable force of pure id that’s far more concerned with getting his actresses to contort their spines to Jessica Rabbit proportions than with getting them to … you know … act. It doesn’t come off as nearly as attractive as just really uncomfortable.

Although, it’s somewhat comforting to know that even in the realm of “hotness” the Victoria Secret obsessed 12-year-old boys sitting on each other’s shoulders in an overcoat to pass themselves off as a director miss the point. Given that missing the point is kind of the strongest quality of his films. (more…)

We all know that Fox News isn’t really a news organization. It specializes in propaganda, it’s talk radio given a larger platform. Accepting this has made it a lot harder for Fox to actually anger me. I just laugh them off.

If the crazy guy on the corner of your block yells racist bullshit at you every morning, eventually it stops angering you. You recognize he’s a crazy racist, just one more thing you can’t control in this world.

But this, this took things too far. (more…)

A pack of wild tweens in their natural habitat… don’t get too close, they could be dangerous

This is a follow up to my I Hate Babies post because apparently public transportation has become my own personal circle of hell. I know that’s not an original thought, in fact, it borders on the cliche, but it’s demonstrably true here. And it’s particularly true for me because it’s an ironic punishment given my endless love and support for public transportation.

After being assaulted and terrorized by a baby for six hours on a bus, I didn’t think such horrors would strike again in the same week. But I was wrong, I never expected tweens … Nobody ever expects tweens. (more…)

Look into the eyes of pure EVIL!

That’s right, I said it. I hate those adorable little monsters. They’re a menace let loose on our society and I won’t stand for it any longer!

Yesterday I had the supreme displeasure of taking the bus from DC to New York. Now, this isn’t exactly a pleasant journey by itself, but it’s bearable given a fully charged ipod. That is until you enter in some variables. First is traffic which caused the ride to take two hours longer than its supposed to. Already we’re trying my patience. But then there’s variable number two, you guessed it: baby. (more…)